Chocolat Chic

Chocolate has escaped its ‘yummy sweets’ tag and is coming to a venison cutlet near you.

—Each time I tell myself it’s the last time, but then I get a whiff of her hot chocolate.
Chocolat (2001)

The nation’s eating habits have long been a media obsession: Super Size Me’s Morgan Spurlock sacrificed waistline and liver on a diet of burgers, fries and milkshakes in order to prove a point about the obesity epidemic in the US; in The Race To Size Double Zero Kate Spicer endured an alarming number of colonics and faddy diets to make the point that you can in fact be “too rich and too thin.” But as we pick on the lettuce leaf for its lack of substance, and the chip for its excess of the stuff, there is at least one foodstuff that has fared slightly better under the critical gaze: chocolate.

On either side of the size debate arguments abound as to why this is the very last ingredient that shall ever be cut from our shopping lists. Whilst those on diets chant the mantra of ‘antioxidants’ as they nibble the edges of their organic Green and Black’s, those off diets indulge in the hope that decadence, comfort and even happiness will come to a head in that final square of Galaxy. Chocolate long ago transcended the childish realm of ‘yummy sweets’ and has become a sexual substitute, a health food, a gourmet raw ingredient, a friend (for some). In place of the South Beach or Zone diet, you may be just as likely to succeed with Lenny Neimark’s tempting, Pasta, Popcorn and Chocolate diet. Unlikely, but appealing.

So far reaching is its popularity that chocolate is not just confined to the dessert list. In Stockbridge, gastro-pub Hamiltons gets innovative and playful with a venison dish drizzled in a rich chocolate and chilli sauce. This is a rare instance where adding chocolate to a recipe actually matures it, moving the dish from pub grub to innovative cuisine. Nestled on a bed of creamy parsnip mash, which balances the firmness of the venison perfectly, the dark chocolate sauce is sparingly arranged. Infused with chillies, the fiery kick is subtle and more of a smart afterthought. It prevents the chocolate from being the last taste in your mouth – a reminder that this is an entrée, not a dessert. At £14.95 it is the most expensive dish on the menu but provides a warming fullness not unlike that Christmas feeling.

For a truly upmarket experience, vegetarian restaurant David Bann gets even more adventurous with their ‘Chilli and smoked cheese tortilla tartlet with chocolate and tequila sauce.’ A bold choice but surprisingly good.

However, to really get back to a simple enjoyment of the stuff, nothing beats a good chocolatier: away from the chic Parisian maisons du chocolat, Edinburgh has its own version of consumer heaven, Plaisir du Chocolat. Creator Bertrand Espouy produces amazing quality chocolate, both in its simplest forms and its most unusual. Stranger varieties include the Bergamount (infused with earl grey), the Arabesque (infused with roses) and the Casablanca (with green tea and mint). And now, with a new boutique opening next month at 48 Thistle Street, heaven is officially a little bit closer.

The erotic potential of chocolate is continually being capitalized upon by sexy gadgets and gift shops. In a bid to romanticize, excite or regenerate sex lives, chocolate has established its place firmly in the bedroom. Whilst Ann Summers (of Rampant Rabbit infamy) has made a dent in the market with their ‘Chocolate Body Sexy Paint’, copious gift shops play the humour card with mint-choc breasts and fondant penises. Apart from the bothersome task of scraping the mess off after the initial thrill, and of course the diet guilt involved in consuming so much of the stuff in a bid to be sexy/playful/alluring, there are other downsides. Lucy Tanat-Jones, proprietor of the Edinburgh erotic boutique Organic Pleasures, has strong views on the subject. Keen to appeal to the chocolate-loving market, Tanat-Jones has tried most products on the market and found them wanting: they either taste disgusting, won’t come off or irritate the skin. In response to this, and in keeping with her policy of organic, non-toxic materials, Lucy is currently working on a new potion of her own that will be hitting Broughton Street in the very near future. Thankfully Tarant-Jones is a firm believer in one of the cardinal rules of chocolate: if you are going to eat it off a bodypart, it better taste damn good.

Nana Wereko-Brobby

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