Christmas is looming for us here in the UK and for those of you in the US who have just celebrated thanksgiving the thought of the extra pounds that are going to or have secreted themselves around one or more areas of our person is quite daunting.
From personal experience I know the effect those extra pounds can have on your self confidence. Also with the media still insisting on showing stunningly beautiful slim models on every page of glossy magazines, this is compounded.
So what happens when it comes to the love life ,these thoughts often take up residence in your head can have a major dampening effect on your sex life. Women with poor body images are just not as free in bed, experts say. They are more concerned about camouflaging themselves than enjoying the moment.
An article in the Palm Beach Daily News states “And I specify American women because, I am told, we are much more uptight than our Jamaican or Latin American sisters who “have no problems with excess junk in the trunk,” as Dr. Maureen Whelihan, who is working on a book about sex, puts it.
Whelihan, who was a favorite of the Palm Beach Pundits earlier this year and is a gynecologist, counsels her patients to enjoy who they are or work on reshaping themselves, in a good way, with diet and exercise. She readily admits that she’s lost 50 pounds, twice and still feels her rear end isn’t perfect. But she urges women not to be so hard on themselves, or their partners, that it puts a damper on their sex lives.
Men, she points out, aren’t that hung up on their bodies or, ladies, even yours. Unless something other than your bad body image is going on to inhibit your sex life — are you communicating what you like? — your partner probably hasn’t noticed that little extra something you’ve put on your frame.
“Men want to see you, all of you, they’re driven by it,” she adds.
And Palm Beach sex therapist Dr. Susan Lee agrees — with one exception. If, she warns, you’re with a partner who is overly critical of you, you may not be able to free yourself of negative thoughts about your body, no matter what you do.
I thought of author and actress Dyan Cannon. She writes in her new book about her marriage to actor Cary Grant that she took up smoking to calm her nerves because of his criticisms. But afterward, she was secretly glad she had, thinking it would keep her thin for him.
For some women, it takes a long time, if ever, to find out who they are and to learn how to be comfortable with themselves.
But those women who are OK with who they are, says Lee, and walk and act confidently, can be “more open, loving and giving in bed. If you think you’re beautiful, sex will be more fulfilling.” That seems a natural equation. Good body image equals good sex, or at least a good shot at it.
And if you don’t have the self-love that seems inherent in other cultures, then you might have to work on achieving it. Feeling well and healthy, Whelihan says, “will give you great energy for sex. Having better energy and a better mood will help you have better sex.”
Adds Lee, “If you have a good body image, will you have more fun in bed? Of course. When you feel better about your body, you feel better in bed. The key is to really love yourself.”
So what do you think about this. Are you afraid of derobing in front of your loved one?.
Like the article said it only appears to be us poor women who have the issues. There seems to be two areas, those men who love us for who we are warts and all, and those that love being critical.
Let us know your thoughts on this. Maybe we can help each other overcome these fears
However their maybe another side to the story, are you a man that is being criticised by the lady in your life??? Tell us your story.