Nothin’ fits me rooms…Is this still the case?

An article by Esther

Posted August 12, 2011

This is an article I wrote about four years ago and I want to know if YOU find things have improved for plus size men and women ….

“Picture this….I’m in a changing room, bundle of clothes, all different sizes (because you know each shop seems to have its own ideas of what each standard size should be). I squeeze myself into the cubicle - (which is always the exact opposite of the Tardis, smaller inside than it looks from the outside) and make the best attempt I can to try stuff on without smashing my funny bone on the mirror. (Which, incidentally, I’m sure are purchased from the fairground ‘Hall of Mirrors’, because I always seem to look larger at home in my own looking glass than I do in the shop. Trickery and corruption!)

The fitting rooms (or ‘nothin’ fits me rooms’ as I prefer to call them)with the curtain are the worst, even though a curtain has more give than a door. I always end up with a peachy bum shape protruding through the drape into the waiting area outside. And why do the curtains never quite go the whole way across? You spend 5 minutes tugging it from one side to the other – to no avail, whilst a queue of huffing and puffing impatient women exclaim in purposefully audible voices: ‘I’ve only got ten minutes left on the car’ or saying to their kids: ‘No darling, mummy won’t be long. I’ll get you something to eat in a minute….yes I know you’re starving, I’m sure the nice lady won’t be long!’ – by way of a hint.

So flustered and in a fit of panic, trying to rush, I get undressed, getting my arms caught up in my top, and taking off my skirt to find that I forgot to put on my good knickers. I’ve got on a pair that used to be white, but have gone grey in the wash. ‘Oh well, nobody will see them’ I think, as I turn around to find I’ve got the curtain caught on my backside and I’m flashing my sorry looking pants to all and sundry. Impatience turns to amusement for the ladies waiting in the queue, and I spot that the entrance to the shop floor is adjacent to my cubicle, and the bored husbands and boyfriends of the female shoppers have copped an eyeful as well. ‘It can’t get any worse,’ I think, as I struggle to regain some kind of dignity turning around and trying to straighten the evil curtain. Till I look down to see some kind of forest!! Yes, you guessed it; I didn’t remember to shave my legs and look like a half man half women he-she type being. I really want the floor to open up and swallow me whole, or even chew me up, I don’t care, I just can’t face going outside ever again. ‘Yes, I’m going to have to stay here FOREVER, and live here, and order meals on wheels and work from home….home being this tiny cubicle for the rest of my miserable life!’ I think. ‘There are worse places I suppose.’ I muse as I consider my new plan, ‘Or maybe if I just stay till the shop closes and everyone has gone, then I could sneak out unnoticed.’

I ditch my plan and decide to bustle out of the cell cradling the clothes and dash towards the exit keeping my head down. I don’t even bother trying the stuff on, just want to get out of there ASAP and have a large ‘g and t’.

I make it in one piece to the pub, and reflect upon the alarming incident. Then it dawns on me, that by not trying on the clothes, I must have appeared to the people in the waiting areas as some kind of flasher exhibitionist type, who just went in to show off my hairy legs. Great.

As soon as I get back to my house I get on the case, researching into clothing sizes provided by shops and how big their changing rooms are, for the good of womankind everywhere.

My first port of call was Marks and Spencer, whose website indicates that they have a ‘plus’ range featuring sizes 20-28. I asked the lady on the telephone what is the largest size they do – just to test her out, she said ‘I think 24 or 26′. (Oh dear, nil point, go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200.) She said the ‘standard’ clothes go up to a size 22. She told me that changing room size varies from store to store, then she remembered the ‘plus’ range went up to a size 28 (sorry love – too late, I have to take your first answer – no prize money for you). She said that she is a size 26 and has never had any problems getting changed in an M&S cubicle. (I wanted to ask her is she had tried to swing a cat in one, but felt it was not appropriate.)

John Lewis was a bit of a disappointment, the woman on the phone went off to verify the size their clothes go up to whilst I did my favourite thing…waited on hold! I was surprised to find that their clothes only go up to a size 18. I think she must have got it wrong, so I asked her if they do a plus size range, she replied that she didn’t think so, but went off to double check. The answer was NO! I ask about the size of the changing rooms, so goes off to check AGAIN! (I think she just keeps nipping off for a fag really!) She comes back and tells me that the smaller rooms are located conveniently in the centre of the store, but there are some larger ones at the edge. Hmmm…..yes, make the fat people walk further and get the exercise they so badly need! The larger changing rooms are 1.5 metres wide though, so that’s a plus point, although their clothes would be far too small anyway, so it doesn’t help me much. I asked if they were planning to introduce a plus size range in the future. She didn’t know, didn’t think so! The website actually claimed they do 18+ clothes. (18 plus nothing, obviously.)

Debenhams informed me that most of their stores stock clothes up to a size 20, and then they have their ‘Gorgeous’ range in selected stores only, that goes up to a size 26. (I wonder how they decide which stores should include the plus size range, my local one does, so there must be a lot of fat folk in this town.) They offer a fabulous personal shopper service, where you get a ‘Trinny and Suzannah’ type to assist you with selecting clothes that suit you. You get an hour and a half of their time, use of an extra large changing room and tea and coffee to-boot! The service is free and there is no obligation to buy anything. The regular changing rooms were described as ‘small’ by the lady I spoke to on the phone, so I’ll probably just sign up for the personal shopping experience!

Evans clothes go up to a size 32. Most of their changing rooms are ‘standard size’ (whatever that means), with one larger and one disabled area. However my local shop is having a re-fit, and will have bigger changing rooms soon. (Now that’s what I call forward thinking!)

When I called Beatties/House of Fraser I spoke to a rude woman who behaved as though I had just thrown up on her shoe. She barked at me that the changing rooms were: ‘average size’. When I asked her if that meant they were quite small she replied sarcastically: ‘Well they’re not huge darling!’ When I asked her what provision they make for size 28 people getting changed (as this is the size they go up to), she sounded so bored of me and replied that bigger people have no problem getting dressed in them. (I didn’t really believe her, but my voice clearly outstayed its welcome in her ear, so I gave up!)

New Look obviously had some kind of work experience girl manning their phone lines, her favourite word was ‘umm…’, which she said repeatedly throughout the call. I asked her about the plus size range I’d spotted on the website, and she said, ‘Plus size hasn’t come into force yet’ (add a few ‘umms’ in between each word). She said that (umm) the changing rooms were about 16 inches wide, and that (umm) there is nothing bigger people can do, there is no provision for big people (UMM).

Dorothy Perkins go up to a size 22, and although most stores will only stock up to a size 20, they can order the 22. (not so helpful if you want to try it on immediately and make an impulse buy, but better than a kick in the teeth.) Apparently the changing rooms are ‘quite roomy’. Cool!

So my conclusion in all of this madness is that it makes more sense to shop online. www.100percentpeople.com has a directory of over 500 websites that supply larger clothing and footwear for women (that’s without including the sites for men, girls and boys). So I don’t need to trim my furry legs, and I can wear my ‘it’s laundry day’ pants, order what I like and try the goods on in my private extra large changing facility – my bedroom!”

Below is a list of my favourites, which you will also find on www.100percentpeople.com :

www.debenhams.com