Love Is All Around!
A good friend of mine (married with a baby), concerned about her poor single 31 year old friend being left on the shelf, gently suggested that I could look for a partner on the internet. I always thought this was a 
sure fire way to meet psychopaths, stalkers and perverts, but apparently, in this day and age it’s the done thing!
Well I’m a modern woman, who tries to embrace all things current- and come to think about it, the traditional way for singletons to meet people, i.e. in bars, seems a bit ridiculous. Why do we think we’re capable of choosing life partners whilst we are in a self inflicted state of inebriation, knowing that at the end of the night we will no doubt end up with our head in the toilet?
The first website I happened upon was www.largeandlovely.com which was an American site. Their logo is a blue and pink car kissing. (Cute? Perhaps?! Seemingly if you’re as big as a car you can find love here, which bodes well for me.) They showed a sample of 4 members (which changes daily, so if you weren’t sure about joining you could keep having a peep at the sample till you saw someone you liked, to see if it was worth signing up! The sample I saw on my first visit there included 3 lovely looking girls, and a bloke that looked like a convict who stated ‘I am here to fing my princess.’ Well I’m not sure what ‘fing‘ means, but I certainly won’t be letting him do it to me, princess or not!!
One of the girls states in her blurb ‘I want a man who will be faithful’. I felt sure that nobody would actually admit they’d cheat. Can you imagine it….?
‘42 year old male, good looking, regional manager of large company. Enjoys romantic dinners, water sports and long walks (not necessarily in that order). Will cheat, break your heart and cause you to bawl your eyes out, comfort eat and not want to leave the house for months after the relationship is over.’
No? Didn’t think so!
So I decided to look a bit more locally, to give myself a chance of finding someone I have a fair chance of being able to meet up with without getting on a plane (coz you all remember what a pain it was trying to sort out air travel!!).
The first UK site I stumbled upon was www.largerdate.co.uk. A lovely feminine themed site, where you are greeted by images of happy, smiley plus-size women (maybe these were the women who had already found love on such a site..?), which is actually a breathe of fresh air from the skinny minnies most dating sites use. I have noticed since the dawn of internet time (goes to show how old I am!) that many plus-size services feel uneasy to display photos of plus-size people. I mean honestly where’s the sense in that?! I’d much rather see someone looking more like my own reflection rather than what I’d look like in a magic-this-is-how-I-would-look-if-I-didn’t-have-all-those-eclairs mirror! I mean get real, guys!
Anyway back to the site. I decided to jump in head first and look for my ideal man. Well… the profile photo I was immediately drawn to, was that of an extremely toned, and incredibly sexy male six-pack. The young (and slightly salivating) girl in me seemed to get carried away all too quickly, because I’d already clicked on the guys profile until the penny dropped. It was a fake photo!
Now come on, if there are any guys reading this, all I can ask is… why? I mean come on, if you’re going to do it at least be a little tactile. Uploading a photo of last years Mr. Universe is sure as hell not going to attract any intelligent women, because the only ones that do respond need to be stupid enough to believe that really is you! Though maybe dumb is what some guys go for (*cough!* Half of the England football team! *cough!*).
Ok back to the Mr Right search. I was very impressed by the number of men actually on this site, plus the fact you can view everyone’s profile without even having to register! Great time saver. In the end I did find a rather tasty guy, fluent in four European languages, tanned, plus he owned a villa in Spain! Very nice! I decided I would send him a little note to say “Hi” and all that small talk stuff. Though suddenly realised I didn’t have a photo of myself to go onto my profile! Panic stations! Get the wide lens add-on for the camera! Set to black and white to hide any blemishes! Hold your best moody… yet sexy pose and say cheese! “Cheeeese!”
Ok I decided for the time being, instead of putting all my (love) eggs into the one basket I’d see what else was out there, and return to Mr Villa in Spain at a later date (along with the most fantastically, amazing profile photo, the BBW online dating scene has ever seen!)
I went on to www.datingbbw.co.uk which claims to be ‘the biggest and most visited dating website for plus size British women’. Their description at the top of the site asks potential customers: ‘Plus sized and looking for a curvy date?’ (A curvy date?! Is that like a date on a roller coaster, or a drive down a winding country lane?) No matter, I felt this was the site for me so I started filling in the obligatory many, many pages of registration document.
I had to make my ‘figure selection’… Small (size16-18), Medium (size 18- 24), Major (size 24-36) and Goddess (size 36 plus). GODDESS!!! Hilarious! Although I am secretly pleased to be in the Goddess category, as it sounds sexier than being a ‘Major’! The choices for Bust size were small, medium, large or extended. Extended? Not sure what that meant…maybe it’s like if you’ve had a boob job or something (visions of Jordan enter my head). But then it turned out that you could also have extended waist or hips, and I’ve never heard of a hip job, so I guessed it just meant rather big, so changed my answers from ‘large’ to ‘extended’. (I’m surprised they didn’t ask for number of chins, but I suppose that would be pushing it.) I found the ‘appearance’ category comical. The choices included ‘attractive’ (which is what I picked, naturally), ‘elegant’, ’some find me attractive’, ‘drop dead gorgeous’, ‘pretty’, ‘average’, ‘exotic’ and, wait for it…. ‘paper bag’!!
Once I was enrolled I had a hunt through the men (only ones with photo’s- well, I wanted to know what I was getting, you wouldn’t buy wallpaper without looking at it first… so don’t judge me). I trawled through people with names like ‘Tall Nigel’, ‘Hot Chocolate’ and ‘Golden Tongue’ (ew!!).. who described himself as being house trained, so I guess he won’t leave anything unsavory on your kitchen floor. Just get him a litter tray and you’re laughing! Then there was Keiron, who confesses that he ‘can’t get enough of a sexy bust’, and various others specifying that they want women with ‘big boobs and a big bum’. (Clearly it’s ok to have the personality of a wet rag. Although if we will choose our partner like we’re catalogue shopping then we really can’t expect any more than that.)
Snapshots of the blokies ranged from startled ‘rabbit in the headlights’ ones, to others with part of the person’s arm in, which they’ve obviously taken themselves… so not only are they partner-less, they don’t even have one single solitary friend to take the picture for them. (Hmmm tempting.)
Most members had created their accounts in 2003, so 4 years later they were still searching for love?! It didn’t fill me with hope, and I considered going back to the drunken night out, ‘I’ve got my head in the toilet but think I could marry that bloke at the bar’ way of doing things.
‘NO!’ I chided myself, ‘I must give this thing a chance.’ So I kept looking through the males, who were searching for an array of different things, ranging from ‘no strings fun’ to a ‘buxom passionate soulmate’. Their pleas varied, some were cocky and arrogant, whilst others sounded desperate and pathetic. It was difficult to get a happy medium, and I started to feel paranoid about my own profile, did i sound like a desperate spinster? I don’t think the fact that I mentioned I own 2 cats could have helped… that’s just the sort of pet eternally single females have. (Note to self.. invest in a trendy pet like a tarantula.)
I decided to compare myself against the other females and check out the competition, but went off an a tangent to the ‘agony aunt’ page, where I read a letter from a lady who was complaining that she did not want a man who just wanted her for her weight. How interesting, I thought, we would soon complain about men wanting skinny gals, but it seems to be okay to have websites for blokes wanting fat women. With this in mind I did an internet search for skinny love matches, but found nothing, (other than a book entitled ‘Skinny women are Evil’ – which I thought was a bit harsh) yet there are loads of sites for BBW love. I started to think this a little unfair on our hungry counterparts. Or does this just mean that skinnies are welcome on ‘normal’ love websites, whereas us fatties are not?
Anyway, back to the ladies, again they are much more attractive than the men, although there were still the obligatory few who had their arm in the picture, or looked like a masked attacker had jumped out of the shadows on a dark night and taken their picture after shouting ‘BOO!!!!’ There were also those who had decided to put in a photo taken from such a distance that they resembled Mrs Pepperpot, and you couldn’t even make out how many noses they had from this distance. Was this an attempt to look slimmer, I wondered?
No fear of that from Ms ‘Bouncy n Busty’, as she called herself, who claimed ‘once you go fat, you never go back’!!! Idiot!! It’s people like her who give the rest of us a bad name.
I grew weary of this game, and decided to give the whole dating thing a miss. I didn’t like the idea of people searching for a mate just because they’re fat, the same as I wouldn’t like people choosing women just because they’re slim. It all seems a little unfair to me. So I decided to ditch the cyber dating and continue to hope I’ll meet a special someone through conventional methods. And if not… I can always get another cat… or maybe two!!
BBW dating websites:
However, if you just want friendship, help, support, useful resources or anything else, keep coming back to my favourite website, here at www.100percentpeople.com
February 1st, 2008 at 3:30 pm
well Daisy,i’m one of the fortunate that hasn’t had to resort to dating sites ( lucky me huh? )
When i met my own MR WONDERFUL i was a size 14 ( european ) and had a chest on me that would’ve done Jordan upset ,cos mine was as nature intended,we got to chatting and i thought ” PHWOAR….NICE BLOKE…LOOK AT THE ARM MUSCLES ON THAT!!!”.
YES i too am that shallow!
It took 6 wks of dating before i let him take me to the love palace that was my bedroom * guffaw *.
He seemed to spend tons of time gazing admiringly at me…..bonus in my mind.He had a 6 pack adonnis would’ve been proud of,HUUUUUGE arm muscles,pecs that were so square they were a geometric delight,black curly hair,light green eyes,long lashes and a tiny pert butt….and a size 29 waist…42 chest…triangular as they come!!!
CUT TO 16 YRS LATER…..MR WONDERFUL ( balder,size 32 waist,44 chest,slight man boobs and a mini paunch,but still yummy to me ) AND I cuddled on the sofa watching another re-run of sex and the city ( thats it now….my sadness is laid bare for all to see )and the skinny bints who have no problems pulling were chatting about their love lives….samantha ( nympho ) was saying that her man didn’t mind her baldness after chemo…he was attracted to her for her…..so i turn to my own MR WONDERFUL and ask ” what 1st attracted you to me babes ? ”
His reply was hardly romantic by any extreme…” you had the most massive pair of tits i’ve seen on any bird EVER ”
So i thank god daily that my man goes for that type….cos as i got bigger so has my bust size….and he’s going nowhere else….cos to get these babies ( 42 HH ) you’d have to have some serious surgery and i have them in abundance au naturel!!!